Temper Tantrums Start as Toddler Tantrums

If you have kids, you've seen them or will see them throw a temper tantrum.

I think these little fits actually start as babies; babies know no other way to get what they need other than to cry.  But as children get older and begin to develop their ability to think through small lessons of cause and effect, they'll turn into toddler tantrums; they're causing a meltdown to affect the reaction/result they want.

If you're not there yet, get ready.  They'll happen.  And it's how you handle the child during these times that will shape future behavior you'll experience with him/her.

Have you seen the child in the department store who starts screaming at his mother loudly enough for the whole world to hear?  This child wants something, and is testing the tantrum thing to see if it'll get her what she wants.  She can either learn very quickly that this type of behavior works very well... or she can learn 1) that screaming doesn't work well and 2) there are other, better ways to get what she wants.

All too often as the mother, (and this has happened with me many, many times!) it is easier and less embarrassing to give in, thinking that you'll handle it the next time, or you'll discipline your child for her bad behavior later.  Well, once she learns that bad behavior will get her what she wants, she'll gladly provide more of it the next time.  And disciplining a toddler later can be very confusing to her; it is best to handle it in the moment.

HOW you do it can vary a lot, and that's a topic for another post.  But handle it.  Do it with grace.  Talk with her.  Don't let HER bad attitude get control of YOU.  Know that you're behavior in response to her is an example to her of how to act.  Remember to reward her for good behavior, once she corrects it in a situation like this, but also when she's acting nicely at other times.

What's a reward?  Well, that depends on your child. This is important because often I see parents reward kids based on what they (the parents) like as rewards, not with what the child's currency is. What does she like?  What gets her excited?  What has she wanted before when she's thrown a temper tantrum? 

Know that handling toddler tantrums well early on means you're paving the way for better behavior as your child gets older.

For more on temper tantrums which happen during the toddler years, see my site's page on toddler tantrums.

Click here for more on the topic of parenting discipline.  Weigh in on spanking versus time-outs!  Leave your comments on  our disciplining children page.