Active Children - Positive Parenting by Keeping Adolescents Busy

I read the title above and wondered, "Hmmm. Wonder how that will hit people when they read it?"

Keeping children "busy" doesn't necessarily sound like good parenting.  But in looking around at children who are nearing the pre-teen or teenage years, I have to believe that children who have an endeavor that they can focus on don't have idle time to spend getting into something ... else.

I have found that kids need help at young ages finding things to focus on.  Most children I've known, including my own, don't focus easily on any one thing for any lengthy period of time.  They might need a little push, (operative word "little.")  Getting them excited about a musical instrument, a past time that has goals like sports or other competitions like spelling, math, or debate for example, can be very healthy.  And it can be healthy in many ways.  I DO have to say that there are ways of going about this that might NOT be good, like pushing kids into things that they really don't like, pushing too hard, etc., but exposing them to some of these activities and encouraging them to focus on being really good at something, is GOOD!

This isn't to say that children don't need some time just to play, but being able to develop focus early on is a good thing.


A close friend of mine that I really respect was talking with a couple of my kids the other day.  He was talking with them about life, and about choices along the way.  One of my kids asked him, "How come you're good at so many things?"  He said to them, "I'm not great at everything, but I made a decision a long time ago that I want to be a collector of things I can do!"  What an interesting way of explaining that.  He went on to say that it opens a lot of doors in life to know how to do things, to understand things, and to be able to relate and talk with others about activities.  He also said that it makes you more interesting.

I want my children to have interests.  I want them to pursue interests.  I want them to be active children.  Heck.  If all parents were to encourage being really involved in constructive activities, (what some might think is part of active parenting), it might just also help a little with our problem with childhood obesity that we face.

What are your thoughts on helping children find endeavors to focus on?  Do you think it should be part of "Positive Parenting with a Plan"? Let us know!  Comment here, or let us know on Positive Parenting with Purpose!

Kids Can Make Their Own Fun

I was planning for end-of-school-year activities with the parents of one of my kids the other day.  The parents are responsible for bringing in the food and planning the "party" for the last day of school.

All of the parents want it to be a fun event for their kids.  Some of them want it to be really quite special.  They started talking about the different possibilities of things we could plan for them.  The thing is, it actually means "plan," "organize," and then "put it all together." I listened for a while; some of the parents went a little crazy with their ideas and talked about all of the possibilities around this one theme.

This got me thinking.  Why do parents always seem to feel the need to find activities for their kids?  I've heard parents say, "Well, I have active children." I've also heard, "I don't want bored kids." But what actually happened to letting kids find their own activities?  Children can actually come up with some pretty fantastic ways of entertaining themselves since they don't have the adult filters their parents have. AND, kids learn to be self sufficient with their entertainment!

Back to the class party...While I have no doubt that doing some of what was discussed would be very special, a couple of the ideas would require quite a lot of work by the parents to get the venue set up.  While there's nothing wrong with putting together something really special and putting a lot of work into it, it seemed as though we, as a group of parents, have done that a lot for this class.  After listening for a bit, I finally spoke up and said that I really thought that we could set up the basics of the event, but that these kids can really make their own fun.  A couple of the mothers agreed wholeheartedly.  Some weren't convinced.

Back to what I was saying before... Are we, as a collective of parents, so used to doing and creating for our kids that we don't enable them to learn the skill of making their own fun?  Wow.  If that's the case, we are certainly doing our kids a disservice.

I have friends today that go somewhere, and if unexpected things happen to make the day or evening different than planned, they are completely miserable.  (My husband and I just went somewhere with a couple that seem to have to be entertained.  My husband commented to me at the end of the evening that he was glad we knew how to "make our own fun.")  Is there so much media and just general noise today that people have forgotten how to have fun in the simplest situations, or did they never learn how to do that to begin with?

I'm not sure.  But I do know that the people I like to be around the most know how to have fun in so many different situations.  And that's definitely something I want my kids to know how to do.  What do you think?


For similar topics visit my pages on Positive Parenting with Purpose.com called "Parenting Today", Parental Influence, and "Self Esteem".