Comparing Parenting

Do you find yourself comparing yourself to other parents?

Well, I think you should... and you shouldn't.

What? In my opinion, it should be a little of both. Here's how.

You shouldn't strictly compare your situation to others. Everyone has a different dynamic in their family that stems from the number of kids, the involvement of both parents, the age of the kids, the financial situation, the individual personalities of the parents and the kids, etc. But I do believe that it is helpful to look around and see what others are doing, and determine if it works well or not. I just call that a using others' outcomes to adjust (or not) your compass.

I do this all the time. I can't help but look at others, at times, see how they handle situations with their kids, and try to determine the positive or negative effects that their ways might have on their kids and the relationships that they have with them. I think that that's constructive, to a point. I think it's best not to get into making others wrong, but, again, it can be used to help make adjustments in your own compass.

As an example, I saw a mom in the grocery store the other day who had a daughter that seemed to be pushing her buttons. The daughter was doing everything possible to get her mother's attention. The daughter started throwing things that were in the cart. Her mother grabbed the box of cereal that was on the ground, put it back in the cart, took her daughter's hand, paused, and took a deep breath.  It was a few seconds before she got down on eye level with her daughter and spoke quietly with her.

I don't know what happened after that, but I really appreciated the way she took care of her own pressure cooker before dealing with her daughter.  I believe strongly that her daughter will be better off for it, if that's the way her mother handles situations with her.

With me, I think I do well in some circumstances, and not as well in others.  But taking care of my stress level first will be more of a conscious thing for me so that I set myself up for the best interactions with my kids in tense situation.

What are your thoughts?  Visit my comments section, my Facebook page  or on Twitter.  

Also, you might want to check out some of my pages that have topics similar to this post, or have some good off-shoots:  Grace Based Parenting, Good parenting through consistency, Parenting Styles, Parenting Discipline, and Parenting with a Plan.